Stop Clownin Around (Spongebob Squarepants Fanfiction)
Stop Clownin Around Synopsis - Spongebob needs to save Squidward & Mr.Krabs who are being held hostage by Dougie Williams & his Clown Circus for being terrible at making jokes. Characters Spongebob Squarepants Squidward Tentacles Eugene H. Krabs Dougie Williams The Clown Circus Krustomers Mama Tentacles Sheldon J. Plankton (cameo) Honey the Clown Seaweed Monster Man (Cameo) The Story The story begins at the Krusty Krab. Spongebob finishes cooking up some Krabby Patties for the usual folk. SPONGEBOB: This job can not get any better! All of the Krustomers leave after being satisfied. Spongebob enters his Kitchen but then hears an explosion. He rushes out to see that Mr.Krabs had pranked Squidward by heating up a can of peas and making it explode all over him. SQUIDWARD: You filthy crab! And I told you that you’re supposed to take them out of the can! MR.KRABS: No you didn’t! You got cut off when you noticed the Appetizer! SQUIDWARD: Oh really? Squidward then sprays Mr.Krabs’ shirt with a squirt gun. SQUIDWARD: Two can play at this game old man! MR.KRABS: Really? Squirt guns? Are you two? SQUIDWARD: 52! MR.KRABS: Sure doesn’t seem like it. The two stare at each other before launching horrible verbal jokes at each other. MR.KRABS: You look like the walking piece of asparagus! Oh excuse me! Broccoli! SQUIDWARD: Go take meds Eugene, your age really shows when you don’t take them! MR.KRABS: Pfft, I’m not taking the advice of somebody who still gets Valentines from their mother! SQUIDWARD: Your daughter still lives with you! MR.KRABS: And she will always be prettier than you Squidward! SQUIDWARD: Shut up! I’m handsome! MR.KRABS: Quote courtesy of Squidward's mother! Squidward's mother then pops out of nowhere. MAMA TENTACLES: Correct! She then disappears and Squidward gets angry. Before Squidward could clobber his boss for embarrassing him, a bowling pin is thrown at him. SQUIDWARD: OW! What the?! Dougie Williams, the clown comedian from “Squirrel Jokes” & “Mall Girl Pearl” walks up with a circus of other clowns. DOUGIE: You two suck jellyfish at jokes! MR.KRABS: Dougie? You still walk on this planet? I haven’t heard of you in years! DOUGIE: Well this and that and social media and my mother and you figure it out. SQUIDWARD: What do you want Clown boy? We’re busy! DOUGIE: I showed up out of nowhere for one reason and one good reason! You are not and I repeat NOT good at jokes! MR.KRABS: Pfft okay, thank you Captain Obvious, now can Squid & I get back to our war? Dougie Williams snaps his fingers allowing his circus to bombard Squidward & Mr.Krabs with bowling pins & Confetti. Both are knocked unconscious and Spongebob witnesses it all. SPONGEBOB: Dougie! No! DOUGIE: Take care of the square one. A fat clown grabs Spongebob, throws him into a cannon and lights the fuse. Another clown opens the door and the cannon explodes sending Spongebob off into the landscape. The screaming Sponge lands into spiked coral. SPONGEBOB: This coral is anticlimactically painful. Spongebob finishes removing all of the coral from his texture and then looks at the Krusty Krab off in the distance. Mr.Krabs & Squidward are then shown tied back to back in the Dining Area. MR.KRABS: Wha? What happened? SQUIDWARD: I don’t know but it feels like my head was hit by a bowling pin! DOUGIE: It was! Dougie Williams & the other clowns are then shown up in the crows nest area going to brutally teach their captives a lesson to not make bad jokes. DOUGIE: How's about some soda guys? Two clowns pop out of the Krusty Krab sewer hole and spray Sprite Zero & Diet Pepsi onto the two. MR.KRABS: Ughhh!! Diet Pepsi & Sprite Zero! SQUIDWARD: Why are you using the two worst sodas on the market?! DOUGIE(fourth wall break): Because in this fanfiction, my people and I are antagonists! Dougie & the clowns continue their antagonism by bonking the cephalopod and crab with batons, spraying raw juices on their clothes, putting shoes on them with triple knots, throwing pies in their faces & using anything they can find, including a picture of Squidward in his teenage years. SQUIDWARD: Ughhhh!! Spongebob watches the craziness unfold from outside. SPONGEBOB: I gotta save them from this! Spongebob then hears a noise and looks at the Chum Bucket seeing what appears to be a hologram machine. A closeup is then shown and Plankton walks outside to try and make a hologram. PLANKTON: Oh I can’t wait to make a 3D hologram of a picture of Mr.Krabs at the Beach in his undies back in the 1970s so I can embarrass him enough to give me the formula! Oh I’m so evil! Mua ha ha ha! Plankton is then crushed with a coconut that falls from above. PLANKTON: Ouch Spongebob walks up and takes the hologram machine elsewhere getting an idea. Dougie Williams & his circus crush up lima beans and feed them to the captives. SQUIDWARD: Repulsive! MR.KRABS: You have poor choices in food! DOUGIE: I know! It's a joke! That's why I’m using it! SQUIDWARD: You are the one that stinks at jokes! CLOWN BOY! MR.KRABS: I agree with this skinny octopus! SQUIDWARD: Hey! DOUGIE: Oh I’ll show you who stinks! The lights suddenly cut off. DOUGIE: What the?! Honey! This wasn’t part of the joke night! Honey, you think is a beautiful hot female but is actually a heavy set, gruff, gassy clown with a five o clock shadow and tacky clothing. HONEY: I didn’t do that! DOUGIE: Then who did?! A green light then turns on which Krabs & Squidward also notice. A shadow then appears with strings that resemble seaweed. Its Spongebob, or is it? DOUGIE: Uh uh.. uh…. THE SEAWEED MONSTER MAN!! CLOWNS: Our greatest fear!!! The clowns huddle together shaking in fear and they also pee themselves. Mr.Krabs & Squidward stare in shock at how much of these clowns are actually scared little jellyfish almost immediately. MONSTER MAN: FREE THE CRAB & THE OCTOPUS!!! DOUGIE: Yes sir! Yes sir! Yes sir! MONSTER MAN: THEN SAY YOU ARE A SHRIVELED UP HAS BEEN COMEDIAN! DOUGIE: I am a shriveled up has been comedian!! MONSTER MAN: NOW SAY YOU ARE SORRY FOR WHAT YOU DID! DOUGIE: I am sorry for what I did! So so sorry!!!! MONSTER MAN: NOW YOU AND THE OTHERS TAKE OFF EVERYTHING EXCEPT YOUR UNDERWEAR AND SAY YOU ARE WEINERS!! DOUGIE: But that's wrong! MONSTER MAN: DO IT!!!! Dougie & his clowns quickly do this embarrassing thing. DOUGIE & THE CLOWNS: We are weiners! MONSTER MAN: LOUDER! DOUGIE & THE CLOWNS: WE ARE WEINERS. MONSTER MAN: LOUDER!!!! DOUGIE & THE CLOWNS: WE ARE WEINERS!!!! Mr.Krabs & Squidward snicker. The green light shuts off and the regular kicks back on. Dougie & the other clowns run out of the place screaming. DOUGIE: AAAAHAAAAAAAA!!!!! CLOWN 1: Get me out of here!! HONEY: And give me altoids! Mr.Krabs & Squidward smile. Spongebob then enters with seaweed on his hair revealing that he in fact did all of that. He unties his employer and co worker. MR.KRABS: Thanks Spongebob me boy! SQUIDWARD: Yeah thanks I guess. SPONGEBOB: No problem! Anything for the best crew ever and to get away from Dougie Williams the comedian. MR.KRABS: And who might that be? The three laugh at how Dougie is so used up and forgotten now. The three then hear the Krusty Krab doors open and look to see an ugly fish enter, the real Seaweed Monster Man. SEAWEED MONSTER MAN: Does anybody have any seaweed?! Category:SquidwardTentacles35